Abuse and Love

My friend/sister is in an abusive relationship. He's controlling and very verbally abusive. I have watched her change and become more beaten down with time. She's left him once, and then when his daughter was going through a crisis, she against her better judgement moved back in with him.
He learned from that mistake and talked her into selling her house to him. They used that money to buy more houses, renovate them and rent them out. He has 5 houses now. None in her name. He sold her car, it was too much to maintain.
I see what's happening. So does she. When it's too much to bear, she calls me and I go get her. He spends the next day bombarding her with phone calls until she gives in and comes back. After all, she has no car or house, where will she go? She can stay here, but that's beside the point.
He has taken everything from her both physically and mentally.
I will be so glad when she finally dumps him or will he kill her?
But to be on the safe side, I made her sign a piece of paper in case something happens to her, the police will be investigating him. We also gave her a microcassette recorder and are will be holding tapes to use as evidence.
I secretly wish he would get picked up for DUI (He's had 3) or as horrible as this sounds, I wish he would just die.
When things are going his way, he's very charismatic, charming and some would say personable.
When they are not, it's a constant fight. On days like that, when he pulls in the driveway she calls me and I put my phone on mute and listen. I have gotten in he van and driven to her house at 2 in the morning to pick her up while listening the entire drive (90 minutes) anticipating at any moment having to call 911.
We are counting the days down and tucking every spare dollar aside for her emergency exit fund.

You say it's your birthday!

It's my birthday!
I'm 45!
No, i'm not drunk, why do you ask?
I came to the conclusion that i'm never going to beone of those women who pin an emotion on an age. I can wallow in self pity for 15 or 20 other perfectly good reasons other than today I am a year older.
Do I wish I was 25 again? Nah, I am a much better person than 20 years ago. If the trend continues, I will be absolutely fantastic by the time I reach 65!
Robin came over, John cooked all day, we had grilled salmon and steamed veggies (my favorite) then cake! Wonderful caramel black and white cake.
John gave me this beautiful waterfall garden thingie, Kyle gave me a snow globe with an angel inside. He said a was an angel. :)
Drew gave me a Wii. Yes, at 45 he bought me a Wii!!!! Sweet!!!!!
The last time I played video games was when the 2400 Atari was popular. Donkey Kong and Miner 2049'er were my games!!!!
Nope, i'm not your typical grandma!
And BTW.... I rock at bowling, baseball and tennis!!!!
BUT be warned, you will work up a sweat playing these games! I felt better than after a 30 minute workout at Curves! How ironic it would be if I lost weight playing video games!

Camping

There is nothing like a few warm days/cool nights to make John want to go camping. I like camping for the most part. We are blessed to live within 10 miles of Lake Lanier. They have cutback on the number of campsites that are open, but the closest one is Shady Grove. Over 100 campsites, 4 showering facilities and a convenience store less than 5 miles away.

Kyle likes to go camping also. Mainly he likes fishing, or rather, casting the fishing rod, throwing rocks in the lake and playing in his tent. Come nightfall, he's ready to leave. It's too dark and there are too many weird noises. I'm with him, only mine is centered around every horror move made, Halloween, Friday the 13th. You can almost hear the spooky music start up the darker it gets. Besides, the ground is too hard and I am too fat and old to be sleeping in a sleeping bag in a Winnie the Pooh tent. Give me cable, running water, a bathroom 20 feet rather than 200 yards away and a nozy comfortable bed over communing with nature.

Spiderman shirt, shoes and fishing rod.

The story according to Kyle. "This is all that is left of the man the shark ate." There are no sharks in Lake Lanier, they only are in the ocean. "No Nia, it was a shark."

Why did I doubt him?

11 days

For the last 11 days each time I open the door, pull out of the driveway, take Spike for a walk I scan the area. "Please let her come home." is my silent thought.
This morning, the neighbors cat chased her through and open window.
Lola (big head Fred) is back. None worse for wear, fat and slick and probably pregnant. Little hussy.
I'm so glad she's home!!!

Your blood sugar is WHAT?

Wednesday John came home from the hospital.
Thursday he drove all the way to work 26 miles in Atlanta traffic (1 hour)
They took one look and sent him home.
Friday, they sent him home again.
Loooooooooooooooong weekend.
He sleeps most weekend. He looks terrible, he's so tired.
Monday and Tuesday he works 4 hours each day, then runs out of steam.
He comes home and goes to bed.
Tuesday, we have a HUGE fight and he agrees to go to the doctor.
We love our doctor, we drive 35 miles to see him and pass more than 100 other doctors and 3 hospitals to get to him.
John has lost 35 pounds since December.
His diabetes is progressing. He is now on injectable insulin. He is in total denial about this.
He's on a downward spiral and if he doesn't turn this around he won't live to see 55.
He's 50 now.
I'm not prepared to be a widow and stand over a grave.
I'm not prepared to try to explain to Kyle why Paki is no longer here.
His blood sugar at the doctors office??? 289 with nothing to eat but a peanut butter sandwich at 7 am.

Spike Hughes

Spike fought a car, and the car won. The surgery to fix Spikes broken hip is $4,000.00. Yes, $4,000.00
A lot of money I must admit.

What price do you pay for pets? How do you put a price tag on loyalty, protection or companionship?

Spike has pulled Robin through some fairly tough times. The gradual decline of a marriage, the breakup and divorce and the semi recovery.

"Just put the dog to sleep and I will buy you another one." was the comment that the boyfriend made. "He's just a dog."

Years from now, when Rick wonders when it was actually "over" between them I could tell him. Sunday afternoon when Robin called you crying with the estimate from the vet and you spoke those words, that's when it ended for her. It was already rocky but at that moment, it became crystal clear.

Can't unring a bell. Can't snatch those words back out of the air.

In August, she will have enough set back to leave. Until then, Spike is in my care.

By August, he'll be so stinking spoiled I will be truly ashamed. Until then, let the spoiling begin.

Surgery is next week. He needs two plates and will have to stay 2 days in the hospital.

Afterwards he will have to be confined to the house. No steps, etc..
Yes, $4000.00 is alot of money. But he's worth it. For he is more than "just a dog"

Swing your partner

Monday John was admitted into the hospital.
Drew was due to work at 2.
Kyle gets out of school at 2:30.
The plan was for Drew to check Kyle out of school early, go to work and have me meet him in the parking lot, I pick Kyle up and take him home, then when Drew got off work, go back to the hospital and stay overnight
The plan worked beautifully..without a hitch........UNTIL
Except John half crazed with pain and lack of sleep called me...."Please, please come back up here. I'm still hurting and they are not listening to me." Panic had set in and reason left the room.
So we broke all the rules and Kyle got to stay in the room with John long enough for him to calm down. Kyle was great, he loved playing with the bed and the remote control to the television.
John was given IV fluids and antibiotics and seemed to be doing better.
The plan then was revised again.
We'll go home, get dinners and baths, etc... I will meet Drew at work at 11, swap him out and be up there 45 minutes sooner.
We got home, dinners, baths, packed a bag for John and myself and settled down to wait the 3 hours for Drew to get off work.
Then John called again.... "I'm hurting, my chest is hurting, my stomach is hurting, i'm still nauseated and (something i've never heard) i'm scared."
The plans are revised AGAIN.
My neighbor agreed to watch Kyle and I dash off to the hospital.
John calms down, the anti nausea medicine and antibiotics kick in about 3 am and he finally relaxes enough to get some much needed rest.
Sometime between me carrying him next door and getting the bag in the car, Lola aka Big Head Fred, slipped out the door.
I didn't notice.
Drew came home from work and didn't notice.
By the next afternoon when I got back home, she was no where to be found. We have searched, called, printed flyers and posted notices. She's not in any ditch near the house (a sad but real danger) so we can only hope that she is somewhere safe in someone else's house.
Every time I open the door, I secretly hope she will be there.