Depression

I am officially at my maximum weight.ever.in.my.life.
In three months I will have been unemployed for 2 years.
Interviewing at 357 pounds.... now that is fun.
There are some days that are good. There may be three or four in a row. Days where I begin to believe that it will be different this time...this time I will pull it together and change...
Then that long slide downward.
I hate what I have become. So depressed I am barely able to function INSIDE my house, forget about outside. In the morning, I have to literally say "Get up, Get Kyle to school." and make myself go. Sometimes this is the only time I will leave my home and yard.
Some days, 15-60 minutes of tidying and cleaning is all I can manage.
My house is a wreck, my life is a wreck.
I don't even know who I am any more.