Maniac Zookeeper

Followup appointment

2012-01-26T11:00:00.000-05:00

No problems, we are all clear for surgery on the 31st at 10:30.

Dr. Leslie

2012-01-25T23:00:00.000-05:00

We touched on Cindy, John, Drew, political views. I took the app off my phone that was driving me crazy. Hold yourself accountable for what you are eating? Write it down. Acknowledge it....ummmmm before it was Nope, too scary. Now it's more Ride out the emotion. After 48 years you would think that would be easy, but its much easier to eat something to make that feeling go away.
I guess there was a reason that I always envied those people who just just bust out and scream, cry and yell. And it only took 48 years and a great therapist to help me figure it out!

Biggest Loser

2012-01-24T23:00:00.000-05:00

Is it wrong to watch Biggest Loser while eating leftover Christmas candy? we have watched it and ate cheesecake! Most of the times we just watch while drinking coffee. Tuesdays are reserved for Robin, and the Biggest Loser. I can't really explain why I have no interest in any other (semi)reality show but this one. I can only imagine it is the Captain Obvious answer. :)
To stand on a stage and allow yourself to be weighed on national television....ye gods, a nightmare that even Tim Burton couldn't imagine. That would only be the tip of that iceburg also. Share your feelings???? Are you mad?????
So for now, we will keep watching Biggest Loser, and rooting for our favorites while trying to keep the candy to a minimum.

Cindy and the Doctor

2012-01-18T19:51:00.000-05:00

We drove to Northside for the doctors appointment. "You have a tumor." was all she remembered the doctor saying. We spent the next 9 days trying to convince her of the positives. You are post menopausal, really bad news is never given over the phone, 90% of these are benign, etc... We ignored the little wisp of fear that crept in periodically.
The doctor came in, I wrote everything down. Grapefruit size mass, 2 hour surgery, 3-7 days in the hospital, worse case, best case, everything.
He wanted a CT scan, skip the stress test, she had one during her physical, then a surgical preop appointment on the 26th, surgery on the 31st. So now we wait.

Self Medication

2012-01-12T09:07:00.003-05:00

We had an awful fight. Over prescription pain medicine. I simply cannot understand why he wants to just stay so gorked out that he falls asleep eating. I had to go get him out of the grocery store last night. Yesterday I found him on his hands and knees scratching around in the carpet for remnants. Really? Has this what his life has come to? He hates his life so much that he has to medicate himself to this point. I have hidden the two almost empty bottles and im sure than when he sobers up enough he will be pissed. Oh well, that's just too bad.
I have taken on the attitude of, "Sucks for you."
Actually I am so pissed at him that I don't care how mad he gets. I am going to do what I need to do, including cleaning the room up and moving the bed in there. We have only lived here a year, it's time to get the bed set up.
Depression, drug abuse, mental and physical illness...... what a hoot.

Busy at work

2012-01-10T07:50:00.001-05:00

Today our regional manager comes for a semi annual store visit.
We rushed through a 1400 piece truck yesterday and got it checked in.
Over the last 4 days I have been on a cleaning binge thanks to an upper respiratory infection and prednisone therapy. The store is ready. We have gotten through the post holiday cleanup, the filing of the proper paperwork, everything is set to the marketing plan. Let's hope this visit is a good one.

Envy

2012-01-07T07:47:00.000-05:00

Today was my mother's birthday, she would have been 86 years old. Allthough she passed away 16 years ago, there is still a tiny part of my heart that is incomplete.
I envy people who still have their parents.

New Years Resolutions

2012-01-02T00:09:00.002-05:00

Over the years everyone makes resolutions at New Years. Most of them are forgotten before the end of 6 weeks. Most are remembered occasionally, when something petty is said, or a temper flares, or our pants are a little tighter than we wish.
Each year I vow to:
Be a better person.
Lose weight.
Read a book a week. ( That is actually a GOOD resolution!)
Follow Flylady and declutter my life and house.

Those 4 have always been there, along with other random "learn a new language, hobby, etc."
315.3
This year, add to the core, a few more.
I will live more in the moment...instead of planning for later.
To deal with my emotions instead of eating them. That is not as scary as it once was, through long talks with Leslie, and alot of crying in the car it's easier every time it happens. How frightening and wondrous those emotions are when they come out. Sort of like having a mini mental breakdown for 10 minutes!
I'm tired of lurching from crisis to crisis in our lives. Let's set a course and set out to find an improved me. :)

Happy New Year

2012-01-01T01:04:00.002-05:00

We toasted New Year with Martinellis Sparkling Apple Cider in front of the firepit. John, Kyle, Drew and I watched fireowrks and wished each other Happy New Year.
May this new year be great!

Smartphones

2011-12-30T22:15:00.000-05:00

I have finally moved into the 21st century.
I bought a smartphone. And I feel smarter already.
I was really cool about it in the store, but once I got home and started connecting the various apps, my excitement level grew.
Giddy....I am giddy,
And smarter.

Dr Leslie

2011-12-28T21:00:00.000-05:00

My appointment with Dr Leslie was today.
I run so many things by her. I sometimes feel the things that are wrong with me will never be able to be fixed. I do feel more broken than whole.
Some days though if you look past the front I so carefully cultivate you see tiny cracks carefully pasted over. Some days I remember that I am awesome. Some days I remember that emotions are best expressed rather than hidden behind food.
I'm glad I have Dr Leslie to remind me of those days. :)

Bicycles and suprises

2011-12-26T11:10:00.000-05:00

Christmas we suprised John. In 14 years of marriage I have never gotten John a present that he truly loved. Some great presents, but nothing that lit up his face. Until yesterday.
I corralled Drew into going across the street from work and buying the bike, hiding it in his van and setting it up the next morning on the front porch. After we all opened presents I went outside to feed Lucy and called, "John, come see Lucy!!!" The expression on his face was perfect. I got him.....finally....I got him. A great Christmas present... Victory is mine!!!!

Merry Christmas

2011-12-25T17:00:00.001-05:00

Christmas was great! We opened presents, exchanged gifts and afterwards we dealt with a water leak in the bathroom. Nothing says a holiday like 2 inches of water in a trailer floor. We used all the towels to mop up the water. John and I went scouting for laundromats, and amazingly found one open....on Christmas.
John spent the afternoon washing, santizing and drying the towels. I spent the day cooking Christmas dinner and cleaning the house.
There were no huge fights and the tension level was fairly low.
It was actually a good day.

Christmas Lights

2011-12-22T01:59:00.003-05:00

Drew, Kyle and I hung Christmas lights last night. Because of other circumstances (poverty and depression) we are not having a tree. The closest thing we can have is Christmas lights outside.

They make out deck quite festive. Friday I get paid and we will go Christmas shopping. Today I loaded Christmas songs onto the IPod.

I work retail, I deal with crowds day in and day out. Our customers are generally pleasant and it is fun to engage them in the normal "Have you finished your Christmas shopping?"

We have Kyle and Drew here now. Money is tight, our home is small. Drew and John have a strained relationship at best. But...in the last month we have lost three dear family members, so this Christmas will be sadder and sharper than previous ones. Sadder for the losses, sharper because we have been made aware that we are not guaranteed another Christmas together.

I love my little strings of lights on my deck, they bring me great comfort and remind me (again) it's not what you get for Christmas, it's the people you share it with.

They come in threes

2011-12-21T21:00:00.000-05:00

In our house, we had a saying, "Bad news or trouble comes in threes."
We have had our three.
John's Aunt Doris passed away last Saturday.
Sunday, his cousin Billy fell and hit his head, causing a brain bleed that simply could not be treated.
"Send me home, I want to die at home." was what he told his doctors.
Billy passed away Sunday morning. John was back on a bus to Tennessee for another funeral.
Monday my Aunt Jessie slipped into a coma.
My sister Janese had been to see her Wednesday carrying news of our lives to her. She visited for awhile and said her goodbyes knowing it would be the last.
Aunt Jessie passed away yesterday shortly after midnight. My Uncle Jerry and Aunt Kay were on their way down from Nebraska to Texas, but were held up because of the bad weather. When they knew that they would not make it in time, they put the phone to her ear and he told her he loved her and goodbye.
Although I am sad that she has passed away, I also am not. Her last breath here on earth was followed by her first breath in heaven. It's hard to mourn knowing that she is safe, happy and pain free. My memories of her from my childhood are some of the fondest.
Our troubles and bad news have numbered three. Go away future troubles, we have reached our quota.

Christmas Present

2011-12-16T14:42:00.002-05:00

I get a different kind of Christmas present this year.
My 31 year old son and 8 year old grandson are moving in with John and me on the 21st.
This.....is wrong on so many levels.
So here we will be, all hemmed up in a trailer during the winter.
He's unemployed, but looking.
John is beside himself and me......well, I am stuck firmly in the middle.
Money is so tight right now I don't know how we will make this.
As it stands right this minute, we have 11 dollars till I get paid NEXT Friday.
Kyle will have Christmas, but not us.
I am good with that.

On a completely different subject.
The state of Georgia has my address wrong and we failed to complete the proper paperwork for Kyles insurance. For the next 45 days he can't get sick or need to go to the dentist.

Merry Christmas!

Alot happens in 2 years!

2011-12-14T09:53:00.002-05:00

Robins ex boyfriend Rick died..alone, fueled by alcohol and pills (suprise!) Died on Sunday, wasn't found until Thursday.

Spike died after a long, long life. It was a pleasure knowing him, but we still miss him each day.

We moved, into a bigger, less expensive place on an acre of land. A bonus, our landlord is not the Mayor of Crazytown, unlike our previous landlord.

John qualified for disability, and is now moderately homebound.

I finally found a job, which I love and have worked there for over a year.

See.....I told you alot happens in 2 years!

Aunt Doris

2011-12-12T06:29:00.000-05:00

Aunt Doris died Saturday.
The call came in while John and Kyle were out at the park.
Don't you love being the bearer of bad news?
Tuesday he will be on a bus up to Clarksville.
11 hours on a bus to attend a funeral. 13 hours back (that's the difference between central and eastern time)

Birthdays

2009-10-06T10:20:00.003-04:00

My dad's birthday was yesterday.
We also had to put Shadow to sleep yesterday.
I didn't go to sleep until 4:30 Sunday night.
Sometimes you can be too depressed to cry.
Yesterday was that day.
We bought two balloons and wrote names on them.
Goodbye Shadow, we love you.
Happy Birthday Pop, we STILL MISS YOU EVERY DAY. and we remember.
Kyle and I released them and even though they were not tied together, they stayed side by side until we could no longer see them.
I am hoping that Shadow met my dad yesterday. :) He's the one in the overalls, army tattoos and singing old Hank Williams songs.

Legwork

2009-03-12T10:31:00.003-04:00

Today, instead of the gym, I went to the track. It is such a beautiful day, the bradford pear trees are blooming and I wanted something different.
2 laps
The second one was 5 minutes and 43 seconds.
Slow going, but steady, It is getting easier, each day I go. I still can't do anything but walk, so while the weather is nice, I think I will be walking outside.
Impatience is starting to kick in. I try not to weigh myself too often. It's a slow process, it takes time, you didn't gain all this weight at once. I know ALL these things, but come on.....just a small something... a change on the scale of 2 pounds would be great.
I can tell a difference in my energy level during the day. My mood has improved, I want to eat less.
I have to remind myself of these things.

Four Mothers

2009-03-12T09:55:00.002-04:00

Yesterday Bambi, Robin, Kelly and I were standing outside enjoying the glorious sunny day while waiting on our children to get off their respective buses.
"Jake _____ was in a terrible auto accident yesterday. He was life flighted to the hospital and the are unsure if he will make it." Bambi said. "His mother Roxanne was my third grade reading teacher."
I am fairly new to this community. Bambi grew up here and you would be hard pressed to find someone she DID'NT know. But she is my grandsons principal. I met her at Kindergarten Roundup, spoke with her in the office in passing and worked with her in several school volunteer functions. A lovely lady.
We all still chatted, but in the back of our minds we couldn't imagine what she was going through.
As the children got off their busses, more news came trickling in. He was texting on his phone and lost control. He had only had his drivers license two weeks. Everyone had seen him driving his mother all over town with his learners permit, etc.
One of the children said that his teacher announced that he had died from his injuries. Being we are in a small southern town, we dialed the funeral home and was connected to the obituary line.
(I wasn't even aware there was such a thing) and we all heard the one line no parent ever wanted to hear.
"Funeral Services for Jake ______ age 16 are pending."
Such heartbreak contained in that small sentence.
Each one of us independent of each other subconciously looked around to see where our child/grandchild was and briefly imagined the horror Roxanne was going through, and then said a small prayer of thanks that it was not our child.

Another Day

2009-03-11T09:24:00.003-04:00

I have been going to the gym at the community center regularly.
I am progressing s-l-o-w-l-y.
Walking on the treadmill is very different from walking on a path. It has taken a few days to get my feet under me. There is a LOT of adjusting the speed up and down. My heart rate goes up too far and I have to slow down the pace. (Meanwhile, I just ignore the women going 3 miles an hour.)
Basically doing nothing but eating and watching television for the last year has really taken a toll on m.
I wish: I had not done this to myself.
I was in better shape, emotionally and physically.
I had more confidence.

I will: Eventually start losing weight.
Slowly and steadily build up the endurance I need.
Become more confident as I lose weight.

This week I am working on looking people in the eye, walking 1/2 mile a day, and not eating after 8 pm.

A New Beginning

2009-03-09T10:14:00.000-04:00

I stopped blogging about Robin and her domestic situation a long time ago. She was back with him, away from him, back, away, etc.. She was stuck in a nightmare, but until she wanted to leave it, all I could offer was a safe place to stay and an ear to listen.
He beat her, he slapped her, mentally and physically abused her until she was a shell of the person we knew.
He pushed it too far one night and threatened her with a pistol. He had already bruised her up but had to add to that. Abuse always, always escalates.
She left, came to my house, we took pictures, filed a police report. He called, begged, pleaded, hounded and threatened her to come back. That was in September.
Today, we filed an application of a warrant for criminal charges on him to return her personal property. We also filed a small claims suit for only a portion of the money he owes her.
He will be served Wednesday or Thursday.
The straw... the one that broke the camels back?
A 300 bill from Movie Gallery for 13 movies he checked out on January 30th and never returned. It was at that moment that she realized that this would never end unless she went to court and made him accountable for the damages he inflicted.
Way to go Robin.
We filed the papers and couldn't get out of that town quick enough. If he had happened by and seen her, I do not know what the result would be. I would probably be in the county jail. She has not wish for contact or communication with him but me.... I have alot of say to him.
So Robin has her day in court. Even if she is ruled against, she will still have struck back and began to heal.

A New Beginning (Again)

2009-03-02T17:15:00.000-05:00

It was time.
The dreaded doctors appointment I have been delaying for the last 3 months was fast approaching. I had run out of excuses and John was simply going to have a kitten if I put it off any longer.
I love my doctor, and his support staff.
Over the last year I have managed through a lot of hard work and depression to pack on 80 pounds. Add that to my already er....Reubenesque figure and you have a large,depressed, confused and anxious heart attack waiting to happen.
I feel comfortable enough with Dr. M to be able to talk to him about anything. For me, that is a huge deal. I've never been able to talk through emotions, I can deflect with humor 90 % of the time, the other 10% burying my head in the sand worked for awhile. I say for awhile because here I sit, in the doctors office waiting for my turn weighing more than their scale can read.
Pain, anger, sorrow, sadness, despair and humiliation are only a few emotions battling to come out. Control is very, very, VERY important to me. Being in control of things is high on my list. In control...comfortable.
He comes in, and for a few moments we talk about John, Kyle and the reason I gave the scheduler for my visit, asthma. "You haven't been here in 15 months." Cause I was too busy eating the entire refridgerator. Then it happened, the words I had struggled not to say, the emotions I fought to keep contained poured out. "I need help, this isn't funny anymore. I am going to die if I don't change my life."
We talked, semi-developed a plan of action. He changed some medications, started me back on my depression medicine and wants to see me in two months.
I am cleared to only walk for the first month. After that, I can start adding more exercises and light weight training.
Here we go...again.

Tuba Christmas

2009-01-19T21:54:00.003-05:00

What do you get when you collect 200 + low brass players and gather them together in a public place and play Christmas music? Those brass players can be a rowdy bunch! You get TubaChristmas. An annual tradition started 30 years ago, held in Atlanta on the first Friday of December.

This year it was held at Underground Atlanta, mostly comprised of high school and college students. We took on of Johns students, Paul. While they practiced I wandered around Underground Atlanta and the 4 blocks surrounding. It is Downtown Atlanta, so I don't wander too far. It's safe, mostly, but to err on the side of caution is never a bad idea when out of your element.

It was good to be out even for a afternoon.

Happy King Arthur Day

2009-01-18T21:14:00.001-05:00

Kyle came running into the bedroom tonight. "I don't have school tomorrow!!!!!" "It's King Arthur Day!!!"
It only took me a moment to realize, it's Martin Luther King day....
We then spent a few moments giving an age appropriate biography of Dr Martin Luther King.
We live in the suburbs of Atlanta. I have toured Ebeneezer Baptist Church. There is also a cemetary in downtown Atlanta that was part of the tour. The Jimmy Carter Presidential Library, the King Center and the Margaret Mitchell house was also included. It was part of a "Welcome to Atlanta, where every street is named Peachtree" tour my friends and I booked 2 weeks after moving here.
From now on, this holiday will also be known as the King Arthur Day!

Merry Christmas

2008-11-29T15:43:00.000-05:00

He does make a charming elf doesn't he?

He only wants a few things for Christmas, an X-box, a few games for the Wii, all of the air type helicopters, cars, etc.

His class is having a party and I have to provide a stocking stuffer for each child. Thank goodness for dollar and discount stores. Play doh, pencils, cars, puzzles, coloring books, makeup sets, etc.. I ended up snagging a present for the empty stocking fund also. In all I spent 22 dollars.

Goodbye Rosie

2008-11-16T10:11:00.001-05:00

Goodbye Rosie.
You have been a faithful companion.
A cat that only tolerated petting.
My first redneck scrapper cat.
We buried her under the rosebush at the back of the yard.
Feb 1992-Nov 2008

Moonshine Festival 2008

2008-10-26T16:06:00.001-04:00

It's that time again. Time for the Moonshine Festival held every year in the town square of Dawsonville. I do love living in a small town. Everyone, well, almost everyone, is friendly. You can start a conversation in the line at the deli counter, and we most of all we have festivals. Cotton candy, boiled peanuts, face painting, the junior high dance team, and of course, the cars. Dawsonville was a major moonshine distribution hub back in the early days. Maybe still. We live close enough to downtown to be able to walk. We spent the large portion of a sunny fall day looking at arts and crafts, listening to the bands and people watching. A glorious time was had by all.

Kindergarten Roundup

2008-08-04T17:59:00.001-04:00

Kyle's school had kindergarten roundup tonight. We met his teacher and assistant, toured the classroom, spoke with the principal and support staff. I signed up to volunteer for the book fair, and offered to help with field trips.
I did not WANT to go to kindergarten roundup, for reasons unexplained, but I will not be one of the uninvolved (grand)parents who blame their children's lack of progress on the teachers. Coming from a family of teachers, their main refrain was "We always know before the first week is finished which children have active involved parents and which do not." "We know which have chores, discipline and routines, for they have little to no problems adapting."
His class is small 14 students, 2 teachers. We are looking forward to new experiences with only little sadness. It only takes minutes and that chubby little face becomes...a kindergartner!

It's raining, it's pouring

2008-06-03T00:25:00.001-04:00

John comes home from work and music lessons in a particularly foul mood.
Okay... he's tired, it's been a long day. Let's get him dinner, pet on him and give him time to relax.
After dinner he informs me that this afternoon he and 5 other people at his company were laid off due to lack of work.
MMMMMkay.
He's laid off
We have no insurance.
I'm unemployed and fighting them over benefits.
Robin lives here.
She's on Workman's comp from surgery for another 5-6 weeks.
We are waiting on word if Rick has to go to jail.
Until then, her life is on hold.
Drew and Kyle live here.
School is out for the summer.
And the topper........our cable was cut off today.
Stress? I think I am a freaking carrier!
I neither drink or smoke, but wonder why not on a daily basis.

Graduation Day

2008-05-29T10:15:00.001-04:00

Holy Moly!

This..... was once.

His pre-K graduation was this morning

Mr. Monkeyhead is now officially a kindergartener.

We met with the Kindergarten teachers at his school when we went on a tour. All K-2 teachers smell exactly alike. A sweet cotton candy scent that I remembered from my childhood the moment I walked into the classroom.

All the little desks, cubbies, chairs, water fountains. The promise of a new and exciting adventures. He can't wait to learn to read. He spends an hour each day writing his alphabet, address and phone number. I'm waiting for the magical moment when he reads, really reads his first sentence. See spot chase the ball. That was the first sentence I ever read. I looked at the words on the page and thought..."See spot chase the ball" WOW...I can read! I can READ! Everyone who entered my house for the next week was greeted at the door and excitedly read to, where they wished to hear about Spot and Jane or not.

I can't wait for this big milestone to be experienced by him. I remember that sudden surge of joy and the almost instant knowledge that life as I knew it was forever changed... for the better.

Look ma!! No stitches!

2008-05-28T01:50:00.000-04:00

Robins stitches are out. The surgery site looks fairly well. The soft cast was removed and a hard cast replaced it. They must have positioned the cast incorrectly because after an agonizing night she swung by my house and it was off to battle rush hour traffic to Saint Joseph's for an emergency reset.
Yes, she's back with him, long story, but one anyone who has dealt with alcoholics knows well. "Come back, we will go to counseling, I'll slow down on drinking, blah blah blah." It was great for a few days, now it's back to crappy The clock is ticking, the stage is set, we are just waiting for the actors to take their places.

Donuts with Dad

2008-05-21T10:14:00.002-04:00

Last Friday it was "Muffins with Mom" Perched in tiny chairs we feasted on muffins and milk while oohing and ahing over their homemade Mothers Day gifts.
This week was "Donuts with Dad" and the school had a man from Home Depot come down and all the children built a planter box. They even provided them with the bright orange apron. No one hammered, sawed or glued anything they weren't supposed to, and now, we have....for grandma's upmost bragging rights, possibly the most beautiful planter box I have ever seen.

Round 3?? 4?? 5??

2008-05-17T02:28:00.001-04:00

She's here. They argued over her not wanting to make the 3 hour round trip to pick up daughter Shelby. Hmmmm. Two days post op, major pain (from a person who breezed through her hysterectomy with a minimum of pain relief) huge half cast and bandages from upper arm to fingers. riding with a man who keeps a cooler of beer iced down in the back seat. He left angry and when he came back, they argued, which escalated into a shoving match. Now she sports a busted lip and possible bruising. I love digital cameras for I have instant documentation.
She drove the car down for once he didn't fight her on that. I think he realized he had crossed the line, for if she had called the police, it was off to jail he would go. She did call the police when she made it to my house, but then found out that she would have to go back to the county she lived in to file a report. She had documentation, but declined to press charges. I know the reasons, and valid or not, they are her reasons and I will respect her wishes.
She 's done with him, she's finished. She will take the car back Monday or so and I will follow her up there...again.
I left my ex husband 8 times in 2 years. I am only realizing now what my friends and family lived through each time. It's heartbreakingly sad, mixed with anger, stress, and aggravation.
For safety's sake, she puts her phone on speaker, I put my phone on mute, and I tape their arguments. The best thing she said to him was, "You have taken my car, my house, my self esteem, my dignity but know this, when I leave, at least I will have ME, and that is the one thing that you cannot ever take away." I almost cheered when we played that back!

Robin in Surgery

2008-05-14T01:15:00.001-04:00

Today is Robin's 2nd surgery. Ligaments and tendons, carpal tunnel, etc... at least this time is it the left hand instead of the right.
Rick will not be there for the surgery. He had court for a DUI. We are almost certain he will be going to jail, for violating his probation but then, the rules really don't apply to him.
I'm driving her home, Drew is following us, and we are staying until the last possible moment before he has to leave for work.
I was to attend a class at the unemployment center but have moved it to the 21st. Apparently you are allowed 4 changes, one for each class. I've never had such a hard time finding a job.

Happy Birthday Kyle

2008-05-11T15:23:00.002-04:00

Today, we are celebrating Kyle's 5th birthday.
He wanted to go to Chuck E Cheese, but that was so out of the question.
I sometimes feel badly about not being able to spend 300 dollars on a party venue for a 5 year old, but then again.....no I don't.
Times are rough, money is tight. I would rather get him one really good present and a few small inexpensive ones than blow it all on animated cartoon characters and really bad pizza.
His classmate Noah invited him to Monkey Joes, they share the same birthday May 12. He ran, slid, jumped and hopped for 3 hours, had cake and went home happy, but tired.

Now it's clear

2008-05-06T09:38:00.002-04:00

Robin has no days off. Rick plans them with errands and chores to fill the entire day.
Do this, return this, call about this, etc
Yesterday he began drinking, what a suprise, and it got progressively uglier as the day went on.
We now know why.
He's on probation for this 3rd DUI in another county. Last month he had a hearing to determine if he could be released from probation early. He stood before the judge and told him he had not been in any trouble and had not been drinking (one of the terms of his probation) but never thought he would actually verify this. How dare him, doesn't he know that rules only apply to mere mortals? The pending DUI he has in the county he lives in violated his probation.
He may:
go to jail for 6 months
have to wear a monitoring ankle bracelet
or (more than likely)
scrape through this without a scratch.
I'll be so glad when she can rid herself of this situation.

Cinco De Mayo

2008-05-05T23:28:00.001-04:00

My neighbors are all roaring drunk.
3 pitchers or Margaritas and shots of tequila will do that. :)
Normally sober and upstanding citizens, they were the victims of an impromptu parking lot party after work.
I swear my very reserved neighbor was doing the Pee Wee Herman Tequila dance.
I'm curious how Tuesday morning will find them.
Hurting, i'm sure.
The very reserved neighbor will fare the worst, he works outside in the bright, hot sunshine.

Goodbye to Spike and Shadow

2008-05-04T09:32:00.000-04:00

Robin couldn't stand it any longer.
She's tired of living without Spike and Shadow.
Today after work she stopped by and wisked them away.
I'm having a bit of empty nest syndrome.
He's the first dog we've had in the house in 6 years.
Soon, I will invade her house and bring him chicken nuggets.
Maybe try to slip him in the car without her noticing.
Highly unlikely.

Abuse and Love

2008-04-28T18:35:00.003-04:00

My friend/sister is in an abusive relationship. He's controlling and very verbally abusive. I have watched her change and become more beaten down with time. She's left him once, and then when his daughter was going through a crisis, she against her better judgement moved back in with him.
He learned from that mistake and talked her into selling her house to him. They used that money to buy more houses, renovate them and rent them out. He has 5 houses now. None in her name. He sold her car, it was too much to maintain.
I see what's happening. So does she. When it's too much to bear, she calls me and I go get her. He spends the next day bombarding her with phone calls until she gives in and comes back. After all, she has no car or house, where will she go? She can stay here, but that's beside the point.
He has taken everything from her both physically and mentally.
I will be so glad when she finally dumps him or will he kill her?
But to be on the safe side, I made her sign a piece of paper in case something happens to her, the police will be investigating him. We also gave her a microcassette recorder and are will be holding tapes to use as evidence.
I secretly wish he would get picked up for DUI (He's had 3) or as horrible as this sounds, I wish he would just die.
When things are going his way, he's very charismatic, charming and some would say personable.
When they are not, it's a constant fight. On days like that, when he pulls in the driveway she calls me and I put my phone on mute and listen. I have gotten in he van and driven to her house at 2 in the morning to pick her up while listening the entire drive (90 minutes) anticipating at any moment having to call 911.
We are counting the days down and tucking every spare dollar aside for her emergency exit fund.

You say it's your birthday!

2008-04-27T19:36:00.001-04:00

It's my birthday!
I'm 45!
No, i'm not drunk, why do you ask?
I came to the conclusion that i'm never going to beone of those women who pin an emotion on an age. I can wallow in self pity for 15 or 20 other perfectly good reasons other than today I am a year older.
Do I wish I was 25 again? Nah, I am a much better person than 20 years ago. If the trend continues, I will be absolutely fantastic by the time I reach 65!
Robin came over, John cooked all day, we had grilled salmon and steamed veggies (my favorite) then cake! Wonderful caramel black and white cake.
John gave me this beautiful waterfall garden thingie, Kyle gave me a snow globe with an angel inside. He said a was an angel. :)
Drew gave me a Wii. Yes, at 45 he bought me a Wii!!!! Sweet!!!!!
The last time I played video games was when the 2400 Atari was popular. Donkey Kong and Miner 2049'er were my games!!!!
Nope, i'm not your typical grandma!
And BTW.... I rock at bowling, baseball and tennis!!!!
BUT be warned, you will work up a sweat playing these games! I felt better than after a 30 minute workout at Curves! How ironic it would be if I lost weight playing video games!

Camping

2008-04-23T09:14:00.007-04:00

There is nothing like a few warm days/cool nights to make John want to go camping. I like camping for the most part. We are blessed to live within 10 miles of Lake Lanier. They have cutback on the number of campsites that are open, but the closest one is Shady Grove. Over 100 campsites, 4 showering facilities and a convenience store less than 5 miles away.

Kyle likes to go camping also. Mainly he likes fishing, or rather, casting the fishing rod, throwing rocks in the lake and playing in his tent. Come nightfall, he's ready to leave. It's too dark and there are too many weird noises. I'm with him, only mine is centered around every horror move made, Halloween, Friday the 13th. You can almost hear the spooky music start up the darker it gets. Besides, the ground is too hard and I am too fat and old to be sleeping in a sleeping bag in a Winnie the Pooh tent. Give me cable, running water, a bathroom 20 feet rather than 200 yards away and a nozy comfortable bed over communing with nature.

Spiderman shirt, shoes and fishing rod.

The story according to Kyle. "This is all that is left of the man the shark ate." There are no sharks in Lake Lanier, they only are in the ocean. "No Nia, it was a shark."

Why did I doubt him?

11 days

2008-04-11T09:29:00.002-04:00

For the last 11 days each time I open the door, pull out of the driveway, take Spike for a walk I scan the area. "Please let her come home." is my silent thought.
This morning, the neighbors cat chased her through and open window.
Lola (big head Fred) is back. None worse for wear, fat and slick and probably pregnant. Little hussy.
I'm so glad she's home!!!

Your blood sugar is WHAT?

2008-04-10T21:57:00.002-04:00

Wednesday John came home from the hospital.
Thursday he drove all the way to work 26 miles in Atlanta traffic (1 hour)
They took one look and sent him home.
Friday, they sent him home again.
Loooooooooooooooong weekend.
He sleeps most weekend. He looks terrible, he's so tired.
Monday and Tuesday he works 4 hours each day, then runs out of steam.
He comes home and goes to bed.
Tuesday, we have a HUGE fight and he agrees to go to the doctor.
We love our doctor, we drive 35 miles to see him and pass more than 100 other doctors and 3 hospitals to get to him.
John has lost 35 pounds since December.
His diabetes is progressing. He is now on injectable insulin. He is in total denial about this.
He's on a downward spiral and if he doesn't turn this around he won't live to see 55.
He's 50 now.
I'm not prepared to be a widow and stand over a grave.
I'm not prepared to try to explain to Kyle why Paki is no longer here.
His blood sugar at the doctors office??? 289 with nothing to eat but a peanut butter sandwich at 7 am.

Spike Hughes

2008-04-07T09:37:00.002-04:00

Spike fought a car, and the car won. The surgery to fix Spikes broken hip is $4,000.00. Yes, $4,000.00
A lot of money I must admit.

What price do you pay for pets? How do you put a price tag on loyalty, protection or companionship?

Spike has pulled Robin through some fairly tough times. The gradual decline of a marriage, the breakup and divorce and the semi recovery.

"Just put the dog to sleep and I will buy you another one." was the comment that the boyfriend made. "He's just a dog."

Years from now, when Rick wonders when it was actually "over" between them I could tell him. Sunday afternoon when Robin called you crying with the estimate from the vet and you spoke those words, that's when it ended for her. It was already rocky but at that moment, it became crystal clear.

Can't unring a bell. Can't snatch those words back out of the air.

In August, she will have enough set back to leave. Until then, Spike is in my care.

By August, he'll be so stinking spoiled I will be truly ashamed. Until then, let the spoiling begin.

Surgery is next week. He needs two plates and will have to stay 2 days in the hospital.

Afterwards he will have to be confined to the house. No steps, etc..
Yes, $4000.00 is alot of money. But he's worth it. For he is more than "just a dog"

Swing your partner

2008-04-02T00:29:00.000-04:00

Monday John was admitted into the hospital.
Drew was due to work at 2.
Kyle gets out of school at 2:30.
The plan was for Drew to check Kyle out of school early, go to work and have me meet him in the parking lot, I pick Kyle up and take him home, then when Drew got off work, go back to the hospital and stay overnight
The plan worked beautifully..without a hitch........UNTIL
Except John half crazed with pain and lack of sleep called me...."Please, please come back up here. I'm still hurting and they are not listening to me." Panic had set in and reason left the room.
So we broke all the rules and Kyle got to stay in the room with John long enough for him to calm down. Kyle was great, he loved playing with the bed and the remote control to the television.
John was given IV fluids and antibiotics and seemed to be doing better.
The plan then was revised again.
We'll go home, get dinners and baths, etc... I will meet Drew at work at 11, swap him out and be up there 45 minutes sooner.
We got home, dinners, baths, packed a bag for John and myself and settled down to wait the 3 hours for Drew to get off work.
Then John called again.... "I'm hurting, my chest is hurting, my stomach is hurting, i'm still nauseated and (something i've never heard) i'm scared."
The plans are revised AGAIN.
My neighbor agreed to watch Kyle and I dash off to the hospital.
John calms down, the anti nausea medicine and antibiotics kick in about 3 am and he finally relaxes enough to get some much needed rest.
Sometime between me carrying him next door and getting the bag in the car, Lola aka Big Head Fred, slipped out the door.
I didn't notice.
Drew came home from work and didn't notice.
By the next afternoon when I got back home, she was no where to be found. We have searched, called, printed flyers and posted notices. She's not in any ditch near the house (a sad but real danger) so we can only hope that she is somewhere safe in someone else's house.
Every time I open the door, I secretly hope she will be there.

Creeping Crud

2008-03-31T11:00:00.001-04:00

Tuesday
"Kyle fell asleep at lunch and we think he has a temperature." Little did we know these words meant that for the next week EVERYONE in our house would be sick.

Coughs, headaches, nausea, human mucus machines and other unmentionable maladies.
You know your child is sick when he lays quietly on the couch for 4 hours.
By Friday, he was better. 8 children in his class were out with the same symptoms.
Drew's lasted till Saturday.
Mine lasted till Sunday.
Thursday John came home and went to bed.
Friday he went to work, came home and went to bed.
Saturday, Sunday..all filled with nausea, fevers, etc. He got it both barrels.
Didn't eat enough to take his diabetes medicine, couldn't keep anything down.
Monday we went to the hospital where they promptly admitted him.
Pneumonia and bronchitis.
We're here till at least Wednesday.
Blood sugar went from 89 to 374. Within a 6 hour period.

Kindergarten

2008-03-14T23:10:00.005-04:00

I officially registered Kyle for kindergarten today.
How can that be?
Wasn't it last week he looked like this??????????????

Now he is old enough to go to Kindergarten?

Rosie, Lola and Gracie

2008-03-07T10:34:00.005-05:00

First.....the cast of characters

First Rosie. Almost 15 years old. She's old, she's cranky, she's fiesty. Mostly content to lay on the warm bed and occasionally submit to petting.

Lola aka Big Head Fred. Barely a year old. I picked her because of the mark on her forehead. She's a gray tabby, but it looks as if someone dipped their thumb into brown paint and touched her head. She is affectionatly know as Big Head Fred because, no matter what is going on in the house, she simply must be there to supervise! She's a beautiful cat, but an attention hound, fast as lightning, can be entertained with a laser pointer for hours.

Then there's Gracie- born in October to Lola Yes, 7 month old kittens CAN go into season. She is living proof. Her father is a littermate of Lola. Essentially, Gracie's father is also her Uncle. That explains volumes. :) She's going to be the queen. The other two girls object strongly to this and we have spirited arguments frequently, mainly occuring between 2-4 in the morning.

Exit Interviews

2008-03-06T02:08:00.004-05:00

The exit interview came sooner than the graduation.
I am no longer gainfully employed.
I do believe that things happen for a reason.
The ONLY reason I kept this frustrating crappy job was for the insurance and flexible spending benefits, and of course, the paycheck.
We checked with Johns human resources manager and tah-dah, insurance sightly better than what I had, 52 dollars a month cheaper. No flexible spending, but more and more pharmacies are going with the 4 dollar prescription offer so that may even itself out.
"I hate this job and don't want to be here anymore." was the only thought I had pulling into the parking lot every. single. day.
The first two days were spent laying on the bed (feeling somewhat outraged) watching DIY and the History Channel.
Now.... i'm sending out resumes and going on interviews.
In the meantime, I have cleaned out every drawer and cabinet in my house and have ordered the fabric to make new drapes in the music room and entryway.
There are two quilts I want to make and have started cutting the blocks out for one.
If I don't have a job soon, my Christmas presents will be made VERY early!

It's official, i'm a college student again

2008-02-12T20:48:00.000-05:00

After a 20 year break, I am officially registered at Lanier Technical College majoring in Computer Information Systems. Double minoring in panic attacks and being scared silly.
Also..... oddly excited.
Classes start March 31st.

My son has always thought that I was so lame. The"What would you do if you won the Powerball?" answer was always the same.... "I want to go back to school." (AFTER rolling around naked in a large pile of money, a weekend of debauchery ending with a polite request never to return to the Four Seasons Hotel again.) No fast cars, expensive jewelry, designer wardrobe, just.. a full time student at the local college. He would give me the look you give small children or slightly addled senior citizens and change the subject. School to him, was a bore. Something to be tolerated until he was legally able to leave WITHOUT my permission.

I hate my job. It's just a smaller version of hell. Every morning I sit in the parking lot and pep talk myself out of the car and into the building. This morning I thought of the exit interview I will be scheduling 2.5 seconds after graduation. The old exit interview was, "Screw this, i'm outta here." I'll work on a different phrasing.

Life is short

2008-02-01T00:11:00.000-05:00

I wonder what it is about our days that makes us remember them. Can you look back and say: "Oh yes-February 19, 2004. I remember it well, that's the day I had scrambled eggs for breakfast and had an Americano instead of my usual latte at Starbucks." Or: "Sure, I recall November 10, 2005. That's the day I had a presentation at the office and had that massive python tattooed across my back. It kinda' hurt."
Do most days just pass us by in a blur, they have no imprint on us, they don't make a difference? We register that the floor of the coffee shop needs a mopping, but it doesn't change our life. We have 10 voice mails, but they have nothing revolutionary to add. We pop in to blogs that make us smile, make us cry, make us cringe, but when we click that red X in the upper right-hand corner, it doesn't linger with us past that popping mouse click.
If we save up a host of these days, does it mean that our recollection will be a cumulative one-our interminable days become a single day in our memory (wake up, shower, brush teeth, dress, leave house, head to work, get coffee, work, head home, undress, watch TV, have dinner, go to bed.) Will we look back at our twenties and see this pattern? Will it mark our thirties? Is our forties about refining this pattern, getting the daily grind into perfection?
They say that on their death bed no one really wishes they worked more, but I think that's only because they haven't polled everyone. That, and do you really know you're punching the grand time clock at that moment? With my luck, just before I kick the bucket, I'll be telling a dirty joke or asking for another plate of mac and cheese. Hardly the romantic images we all have of tearfully clutching our loved ones and telling them what they meant to us.
How many of us wake up in the morning and grin, saying "THIS! This is the day I've been waiting for, I think. I'm sure of it. Today is here, and today could be the day." And how many of us head through that day and the most amazing thing that happens is someone hands us a red balloon animal. Maybe it occassionally works that way-maybe the chap that invented Hubba Bubba woke one morning and shouted "Today is my day! I'm going to grab my day by the balls and I'm going to make it strawberry flavored!"
Maybe not every day needs to be this way. Maybe our days should be ordinary just so we can enjoy the little patches of extraordinary. I lost my temper. I got offered a job by a manager I can't stand (so that'll be a no then.) Not a day likely to stick in my mind in the long term.
I'm not depressed or upset, in case this post is reading like that. I'm just feeling pretty random and wondering what my memories are going to be made of, because days are passing (as is my youth) and I want to know which days are the days I'm supposed to seize. I'm ok about a haze of nondescript memories of train tickets, Starbucks, minutes of meetings, and poached fish for dinner. Those memories aren't bad necessarily, I just want a bit of heads up on the days that have a say in changing my life. I can look back and see days that met those criteria, I know the ones that made everything change in the blink of an eye.
I just want some control over them.
And I want to wake up, punch the air, and say This is the day. Today is the day. I'm seizing the fucking moment and together we're going to make a memory that I'll remember forever.
It's not happening today.
But I've decided it will happen, so bear with me.
I'll be expecting to hear from you, too, on when your day is. You know, so I can punch the air with you. You show me yours and I'll show you mine and all that.

A Casual Conversation

2008-01-24T04:56:00.000-05:00

Before dinner "Did you take your shot?'"
(That would be the Byetta shot that controls his blood sugar.")

"No, i'm out."
(I'm going to regret asking this....)

"So, how long have you been out?"
(Just breathe, deep, deeper.)

"Oh, a few days."
(Let the argument begin!)

Diabetes is funny. There are no immediate consequences to your actions. One morning you will wake up blind. And that will be it. We have fought over this many many times. He has had 2 heart attacks, three stents, two cardiac catherizations, his toes are cool to the touch. The list goes on.
His blood sugar (which he will not test) is probably off the charts.
I love him...but live with the knowledge that at any moment either diabetes or heart disease will take him.
Yeah... diabetes is funny.

Snow? In Atlanta? Twice in one week?

2008-01-21T12:32:00.001-05:00

In Atlanta, snow is uncommon. That is very good because people here cannot drive in the clear fair weather. Add snow to the mix and you have chaos!

Kyle is too young to remember snow. Once he caught onto the concept of snowball fights, he was ready to play.

John grew up in Michigan so his vastly superior skills in the art of snowball fights had us at a disadvantage UNTIL Drew, Kyle and I ganged up on him.

The snow was beautiful, then 2 days later, it was gone. That is the best part!!!

New Years Eve

2008-01-01T18:00:00.000-05:00

New Years Eve at the Peachtree Plaza Hotel.

Dinner was wonderful, the view spectacular, and the company was excellent!

For years I was the designated driver.

Then I was the one drinking sparkling apple cider with Kyle.

John either has a gig on New Years or doesn't feel like going out.

This year our friends talked us into dinner at the Sky Room.

Trying new things may not be so bad after all.

Shopping for dresses

2007-12-30T15:39:00.000-05:00

For the first time in ages, we are going out with another couple for New Years Eve. We will be in the Sky Room Restaurant at the top of the Peachtree Plaza Hotel overlooking beautiful downtown Atlanta, GA. Today, I went shopping for a dress. The first 4 places did not have any dresses or none past size18. Lane Bryant retail stores do not carry dresses. MMMMMkay. Finally at the Avenue there was an awesome black sparkly dress!!! I ended up with that, a wrap, shoes, earrings, and a necklace. I used every gift card I got for Christmas!!! I am excited, but nervous. So out of my element. I'm more of a jeans and t-shirt person. For one night, I will be Cinderella..in a black sparkly dress.

Merry Christmas!

2007-12-23T11:07:00.002-05:00

Moonshine Festival

2007-10-30T16:09:00.000-04:00

The last weekend in October Dawson County holds a Moonshine Festival in the Dawsonville town square. Almost 80% of the proceeds go to Dawson County Cares,which provides Christmas to low income families. There were kiddie rides, face painting, cotton candy and caramel apples. The usual county fair/festival offerings. There were tons of old cars, moonshine memoribillia, music and interesting stories to hear.

From point A to point B

2007-09-30T15:37:00.000-04:00

These are difficult times. We all hurt. We all suffer. We battle our own demons and, far too often, the demons of others. Who of us hasn't experienced a time when we've felt abandoned and forsaken, adrift in a seemingly endless morass of uncertainly and self-doubt, questioning our values and our very worth?
The above quote was shamelessly stolen from another blog.
I'm 44. Seemingly too old to start a new career. I met with a lovely lady from the admissions office to a local technical college. "Why are you interested in returning to school?" "Would'nt you rather audit a class?" The questions kept coming, and they all had the vague thread of..."Aren't you just a little to old to think about starting over in a completely different career?" Too old? No, that is the least of the obstacles before me. 2 years from now I will probably have the exact same problems, but the difference will be, I will have a degree in Computer Science. Too old? Is 44 too old?
I've raised children, managed a household, worked steadily for 20+ years, faced challenges and somehow found time to learn new skills on a regular basis. It's called curiousity. I do admit some were more for neccessity than curiousity. I dated a raging alcoholic who would not go to a barbershop for a haircut. "You can't drink beer in a barbershop" was his explanation. Too handsome for a buzz cut, I went to the library and checked out a how to book on basic haircutting. I can cut hair, hang sheetrock, brew beer, play the piano, knit, quilt, change a tire, take photographs, understand computers all because there are books in the library covering these and many other subjects. I guess I didn't know I was too old.
Do I dread taking classes where the average entry age into this career is 24? You betcha! Do I dread physically going into a classroom where I will be the oldest, heaviest, most depressed person? Yes, more than you can imagine. Will it prevent me from opening that door? No, I just will have to reconcile the fact that I probably will not be voted Prom Queen. Too old? Maybe for an Olympic medal or a part in High School Musical, but 4 classes a week at the local community college....nah.

Murphy's Law

2007-08-30T21:07:00.001-04:00

I have decided that in a previous life I must have been a) a serial killer b) an adulterous serial killer or c) Typhoid Mary and Caligula morphed into one.

Over the past 3 weeks my life has been a page out of Murphy's Law.
What could have gone wrong ..... did.

I had to fire a closer... for not wearing a shirt. He would wear his chef's coat, but no shirt underneath. If you've ever worked in a deli, you know that we HATE to fire a closer. No one wants to close, it's crappy hard work. You keep closers as long as possible... unless they don't wear their shirts.

I had a cook out on sick leave for an undetermined time.

I lost my strongest employee over the stupidest chain of events that fell perfectly into place right in front of my vice president.

My morning person was rushed to the emergency room with a possible kidney stone, only to find out it was a serious 10 day hospital stay. She is potentially out for 3-4 months.

My husband has literally lost his mind. His fasting blood sugar if 271. A litttttttttttttttle on the high side. His diabetes is not being controlled with diet and oral medicine. This could be also influenced by the fact that he drinks beer on the weekend, does not exercise, and does not even pretend to have a meal plan in place. Couldn't tell you how many carbs to protein ratios he should be eating or even what foods he should avoid.

My son had a seizure/blackout/ misfire/ unexplained episode Monday and was missing for 10 hours before he was found 60 miles away in a parking lot, unresponsive by the closing night clerk at a Quickie Mart. He had no idea how he got there. He has no idea what events occured in those 10 hours. He was taken to a hopital and two hours later finally remembered my phone number. No drugs or alcohol were in his system. The neurologist infomed us, "We may never know what caused this." Great. What comfort that will be.

On the othe hand... I got a really great haircut. And pretty soon, I will take drinking up again. (Probably not) I'm almost certain I had fewer problems when I did drink. Or maybe afte a few stiff shots of tequlia they just shut the hell up.

We may never know.

A Great Nelson Mandela Quote

2007-07-05T05:20:00.000-04:00

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Countdown till 4

2007-05-04T18:56:00.000-04:00

In 8 days you will be 4.

No more round baby face, chubby little arms and legs have been replaced by sharp knees and elbows.

No more Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, instead it's Spidermans theme song, and "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH who lives in a pineapple under the sea???"

We truly are blessed, he has a stubborn streak, but balances it out with sweetness. He's a good tempered child not prone to fits and temper tantrums. And....he still thinks I am the greatest thing since......Power Rangers and fruit roll ups.

We are enjoying this stage becuase in 10 years he will probably look like this:

and I will be far down on the list of greatest people.

But even then..... we'll remember Kyle at 4.

Politics- In 90 seconds

2007-04-15T05:52:00.000-04:00

I read this years ago, each time it cracks me up, because it so simply defines each category.
Boy....do I need to get a hobby or what???????
FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all of the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.
BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and put them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you need.
FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.
PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.
RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.
CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and shoots you.
DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.
BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.
LIBERTARIAN/ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
(Original source unknown . . .

Mothers, Easters and Hallmark

2007-03-29T17:29:00.000-04:00

It's close to Easter. A holiday which I love but have also grown to hate. 11 years ago, my mother passed away March 31st. Easter that year was on April 7th. The church was filled with Easter lillies for the holiday service. I hate Easter Lillies now, the sight and smell of them send me back to that horrible time.
My mom was pretty neat. Unusual in her own right, proud of who she was, honest, plain, simple, and loving. Taught every child at church "Jesus loves me." Babies and children somehow sensed her goodness and would seek her out. Church, grocery stores, parks, department stores, it did not matter, they flocked to her.
Alzheimers robbed her slowly of her life, her light and her spirit and finally her dignity. What a horrible disease, so insidious, so invasive and so relentless. We went from "I know you." to "I know you are one of my children" to "Who are you?"
So today, on the anniversary of her physical death, I mourn the loss of my mother. But in reality she left us 2 years earlier in spirit.
And yes, sadly enough sometimes the hardest lesson you learn is one learned too late. If you have had any semblance of a semi functional relationship with your parents, you will miss them terribly after they are gone. Some times with just passing regret of how they loved spring when the gardenias and azaleas bloom. Other times it's the crushing realization that they are gone..forever.
The Mothers Day after she passed away, I was standing in line with a card for my soon to be mother in law. The lady behind me struck up a conversation and was showing me the card she had picked out for her mother. As cards went, it was average. "Is that the card for your mother?" "No, my mother passed away in March, if I had just one more Mothers Day with her the card I would buy wouldn't even FIT in the store." She left the line and came back with the Cadillac of cards.
So.... for Easter, 4th of July, International Children's Book day, National Cheese Day, or any other day you wish...buy someone a card and write in it something that you want them to know....something that years from now you will have no regrets from things left unsaid.

Liberal Hollywood

2007-03-21T09:30:00.000-04:00

One morning I happened to catch Rosie O'Donnell, bloviating (it's her only speech mode) on "The View". She was babbling on about how we are "torturing" people at Guantanamo (we aren't of course but why should facts get in the way of her agenda) and how the Patriot Act is violating the "civil rights" of so many Americans. She had no examples, of course, but again – why confuse her audience with facts!?I pondered the mindset of today's liberals throughout the week. My conclusion is that basically liberals are big, highly dangerous babies who do not want to accept the fact that bad things do happen. They truly believe that if they just stick their heads under their little baby bird wings and hum a few choruses of "Kumbaya", the bad stuff will go away. And of course, the very notion of risking their lives for ANYTHING is absolutely anathema to them.This attitude is particularly galling emanating from such as Rosie O'Donnell. This is a very VOCAL lesbian woman who considers herself married to another woman. I think it is safe to assume that her persona and lifestyle would be offensive beyond words to your average jihadist lunatic. In other words, whether she wants to believe it or not, should there be a victory for America's enemies in the war on terror, she will have a big fat target on her back! But again, why interject reality into her fantasy worldview – or the fantasy worldview of most liberals.Actually, most of those who spend a great deal of time agitating against the President and his efforts to protect America have lifestyles that would make them targets. Sarandon/Robbins – living together without benefit of marriage. Barbra Streisand – Jewish. Nancy Pelosi – a woman in a position of power. Sean Penn – he'd open his big fat yap and have it shut for him permanently. Jihadist scum won't give a damn about his Oscar.This completely self-absorbed group of people – liberals all – are a danger to our nation. For every intelligent, reasonable, ADULT person such as Joe Lieberman, there are 99 idiotic, prattling public liberals (in entertainment, the news media and public life) who just don't seem to understand that a loss for America will be the loss of their comfortable lives as they know them – even, in fact, for their very existence. There are days when I truly think we are doomed. But this nation and our way of life IS worth fighting for. And fortunately, I know that there are many Americans who are willing to do just that.

Happy Memorial Pop!

2006-05-27T17:57:00.000-04:00

Happy Memorial Day Pop!

Born first son of 18 children in October 1922 to a poor farming family in Central Mississippi the world must have seemed large when he enlisted in the Army at 17. His service career took him from the Aleutian Islands, the Phillipines, all through the south Pacific ending in Hawaii.

Time passed, he married my mother, raised a family, ran a business, and made a home. He didn't dwell on the war, it was just something that he was expected to do as a man. Fight for your country and all the freedoms that you enjoyed.

While growing up we only heard the lighter side of the war. We were shielded from a majority of the horrors that he endured. On visits home he and his brothers would gather on the side porch and the darker side of the war would emerge.

"Memorial and Veterans Day are days set aside to remember the men and women who paid the ultimate price for your freedoms it is your duty to honor them" was his creed. He was a member of the VFW, flew a flag in front of his house, stood for the national anthem and with quiet conviction lived what he believed.

Even though he passed away 8 years ago, I still miss him every single day. On patriotic holidays it's just a little sharper and deeper.

Happy Memorial Day Pop. There is a flag on your grave. We remember.

What could you have been THINKING???

2006-05-24T17:16:00.000-04:00

Dear Little Mrs Bonehead,
Perhaps you were only going in for a few things.
Perhaps you were tired of dealing with a cranky three year old.
Or maybe you are just a dumbass.
Whatever reason you chose to leave your three year old son strapped in his car seat alone and crying while you shopped in the grocery store I work in was inexcusable.
Alone, crying and THREE years old. What a combination!
You didn't even have the decency to double park in the fire lane to run in for medicine. You walked into the store and strolled around for 15-20 minutes and bought popsicles. POPSICLES!!!!!!!!!!!
You are so lucky. Lucky the police didn't get there in time to arrest your stupid ass. Lucky that we had the presence of mind to have someone (me) stand out by the car and try to console him.
Lucky that some sick creep didn't unbuckle him and carry him right out of your life and into your worst nightmare. Your child is missing, explain to the police why he was alone in the car.
Then you casually walked to the car and when asked the question, "You left your child in the car alone?' you only answered, "Oh, he's okay."
That's when what I suspected was confirmed...you are an albeit, well dressed, young attractive Toyota RAV 4 driving dumbass.
Don't worry, we will meet again but you won't drive off again.
Why didn't I think of letting the air out of two tires? I'll be better prepared if this ever happens again.
Not officially over it.
T.

2006-05-24T17:13:00.000-04:00

In a perfect world, every bathroom would have this option.
It would also be acceptable to ridicule these people until they cried.

Oh to be three!

2006-05-21T15:37:00.000-04:00

Name: Kyle Patrick

Age: 3

Hobbies: Slaying dragons, being both Superman and Spiderman.

This is one of my favorite pictures of Kyle.

Each time I look at him I am reminded of another little boy, his daddy, 26 years ago.

Same temperment, same goofy sense of humor,
and a chance for Nia (that's me) to spoil the
carbon copy of Drew.